You have to leave your kids with one of them for a week, who you going with?

this man gets it. Rudy knows what it's like to have wives and children he needs to care for and protect, and he's not going take advantage of someone else in a similar position.

except that's teen Rudeus, so

Miyako. Even if I left a daughter with her she is unlikely to anything to her on the account of her not being Hana.
Lucoa is a perverted klutz but is guaranteed to not do any harm so she's my second option.

Female Kid

Lucoa

Male Kid

Miyako

Bottom left has only ever shown attraction/creepy behavior towards Shouta-kun so she's fine.

if i needed my children watched responsibly? rudy. if i wanted my son to lose his virginity? lucoa
araragi isnt responsible enough and i dont know who bottom right is.

Rudeus without question.
He's a pervert otaku, but he keeps things to himself / to those interested in him.

Teen Rudeus is already reformed from his Fatdeus ways, so I would still pick him.

Mya-nee since she is too much of a coward to try anything.

Lucoa

Lucoa>(power gap)>Miyako>(power gap)>Rudeus>rrrg

Lucoa is both responsible and only lustful towards her own shota, great week guardian

Miyako also only has sight for her own loli, but she is a failed adult, i doubt she could take care of kids for a week.

Rudeus might not seem that bad once you recall he has 3 other girls in his mind, but recall that he still was perverted towards Eris even when he had Silphy waiting back home, very dangerous.

Shuraragi is actually not bad in terms of bad touch at all, but he has the "king" of oddities with him and as we know, oddities attract oddities, so the chance of your kid getting involved with some fucked up shit is high, specially during a whole week.

Shinobu would also act as a final defense if Araragi got too touchy, as she'd remind him of the Tokyo Metropolitan Ordinance. As for the oddity stuff, I thought most of it came from the vacancy in the temple. Sure if Shinobu went full Kiss-Shot, then she'd begin to bring calamity. But in her most common modern form, she sometime struggles with nearly becoming a human. The problem with Araragi would be if he left the children to his sporty friend while he went out to buy a junior idol book. She'd not hold back on the children if no one was watching and is quite strong even without her oddity so she could dominate them.

Araragi, because in his own words he's not a pedophile.

Rrrg literally can't stop himself from molesting Snail

Snail is an adult, older than him even.

Ararararararagi is all bark and no bite, so him.

He also is sort of anal about things and sorts a lot of his life. Snail very well could be in his "molesting girl" category. He loves the other lolis and does some funny things with them but he never has a full Snail moment with them. Shinobu literally spread her butt exposing her hole and slit to him while nearly in his lap and he didn't move. He only gets up to sexual fun with Shinobu when she gives him permission (such as when she said he could touch her breastlets). I assume Yotsugi and every other loli he's come across is the same. The only evidence we have to the contrary is in an alternate timeline where he was in general messing with shit as he didn't view it as real. The real problem with Araragi is if he has to watch any boys. He doesn't care for males and ignores their presence, while Shinobu can get molesty over them.

He doesn't care for males and ignores their presence

why is it?
It's so weird how he has 0 male friends

male

Any except Lucoa

female

Lucoa.

I'm not sure it was ever stated completely why, but he became a loner. It started around an incident in middle school or so where his best friend had a controversy. This lasted most of his highschool years. At the point we reach him, he is so isolated he is even starting to ignore his beloved sisters. He only pays attention to the odd female for the pleasure of seeing her. This changes when he meets a girl who is into pervy things and thus won't judge him. He still sort of stays distant from her though as he comes to revere her too heavily. His shell is really cracked through bloody force by his encounter with a vampire. One he only paid any care because she was female. He then proceeds to meet many other girls who have oddities he must solve. They all pretty much have crushes on him so they approach him. It does help make him more social around girls though. He is never really made to be more social around males though and is never punished for ignoring him. There are only like three he pays slight attention to because they make their presence super important. Araragi learned to love those he has, but still is deeply antisocial. His vampire wife's carefree mindset also helps encourage this behavior. Only time will tell if he gets an arc where he becomes a lot better with people. I kind of doubt it though because we have had to flash forwards so far that go a few years ahead where he still has a lot of the same issues. It is almost like his problem is growing again considering a lot of his friends are drifting away.

I think Rudeus is the most morally adjusted one

But if your kids are trans?

male

Lucoa

female

Araragi
I want my kids to feel good.

Then you failed as a father.

Mya-nee>RRRG>Lucoa>Rudy
Miyako is unlikely to do anything to my kids, on account of fear of social repercussions. She MAY dress them up and take photos, but that's a positive
RRRG is actually unlikely to do anything either, but there's a chance he gets them wrapped up in something dangerous
Lucoa and Rudy are both equally dangerous, however I'd rather my children get abused by a woman rather than a man

If a loli, then Mya-nee, without a doubt.
She's experienced, with a strong maternal instinct, and good at taking care of children. She won't do anything too kinshi as she already has her beloved (Hana-chan). Also, I'd get cute pictures of my hypothetical child in cosplay, which I'd want (as a hypothetical parent). Hana-chan, Noa-chan, and Hinata-chan will also be there to keep her company. I suspect my (hypothetical) loli daughterwife would have a lot of fun.

If a shota, I'd go with Lucoa and ensure he won't grow up to be some sorta fruit. Yuri is okay, but Yaoi is kinshi. Basically the same reasoning as If he scores, I'll give him a (low alcohol) biru.

Molesting Snail is just bantz. They both tell you that

people acting like getting raped as a little boy is fine if the woman is hot

Fantasies aren't real life, believe me

It's 100% better to be molested by a woman than a man

The times he's removed her panties and spread her lower lips, just a funny prank between pals. Both enjoy it a lot and find it super fun. There is nothing sexual about it either as there is no penetration, you are a pervert if you claim otherwise.

It's 100% better not to be molested at all and then 30 years later pretend you would like it on an anonymous imageboard.

I can't tell if you're joking or not. In Nisemonogatari, they directly say that it's genuinely just bantz. RRRG stops molesting Hachikuji, and she gets mad about it. When they meet again in Owari, Hachikuji says she missed being molested

I wonder if girls are as disgusted by each other's bodies as males are. Would a girl find it worse to be molested by another because of the homosexual angle or would she rather not a male because men are naturally kind of grosser. I also wonder if they get disgusted when seeing jiggling tits in media.

Well yeah, but that's besides the point. The point is that Lucoa is a better choice than Rudy because her molesting your kids is better than Rudy doing it

Fictional characters are being discussed, who care about real life

I know this and it actually ends up pretty sweet emotionally. I was just posting a perverted fantasy. The "there is absolutely nothing lewd here" line is very hot so I was using their banter for it. I like how Nisio constructed the characters and hope he returns to this stuff now that he is done writing the detective season.

I wonder that too. Obviously, women like men more than men do. But doesn't everybody generally agree that women are the prettier sex? I'd have to assume that girls were way more likely to like girls then men were to like men. But that might just be because I'm a guy

Fear of gay shit is an uniquely male thing. Women may hate each other but they are not particularly grossed out by other women the way men are of other men.

B-based?

Still rudeus. He's actually good with kids. Did you see Julie.

Fear of gay shit is an uniquely male thing.

Fear

Fag sex is worse than rape, it's not Fear, it's just disgusting.

then you kill them and start over?

Trading daughters with Rudy like Pokemon cards...

You sound like a scared fruit

I mean no matter what they getting diddled

Yotsugi is looking rather swarthy here.

Mya-nee is just prison gay.
Fuck her once and she'll stop being a dyke, making her the safest choice.

I want Yotsugi to rape me

Lucoa, she's only interested in Shouta. Plus she's got huge tits! Kids love huge tits.

s for the oddity stuff, I thought most of it came from the vacancy in the temple.

No its literally "if you interact with an oddity at all, ever, in your entire life, you will be more prone to running into them later in life, and drag those around you into it as well." The best defense against oddities is to ignore them. They're all weird conceptual mumbo jumbo anyway, so they're mostly incredibly deniable and therefore lose almost all power.

The horny.
She doesnt care about girls and I am sure the boys will thank me later.

araragi is not a pedo so him

Araragi would at least brush their teeth.

All the kids with just one?
If I have a single son I'll leave him with Lucoa. Daughters can always go to her. If I have multiple sons I'll send the kids to RRRRRG. I don't want them to start fighting over Lucoa. I'd raise my sons better than that, but Lucoa would be too much to resist.

Top two would get knocked out/arrested almost immediately IRL, bottom left is a whore so would leave a largely negative impression on my child's psyche. Bottom right is a sfw pedo. At most she'll gently rub their cunny when she's napping on her lap, which is fine. Most kids molest each other in similar fashion.

Araragi wouldn't cause an oddity problem as long as he kept his mouth shut and Shinobu rested in his shadow, or at least for a babysitting amount of time. As long as the kids don't hear about oddities or have reason to start believing in such things, they'd be pretty safe. I pretty much agree with what you say. Although I still swear there was something about the temple and its large amount of energy. Maybe the temple is strange enough that it causes slight things to happen that make the nearby people's minds more prone to oddity belief.

But I want to find oddities and go on adventures

You literally just have to believe. It is actually kind of realistic in that regard. If you go out every night with the hope of finding some lonely vampire girl, you're bound to find one at some point. Araragi knew nothing of this hidden world until he stumbled into it. He quickly ascended to one of the most important men in this world.

Lucoa. Two on the top are cucks and Miyako is a dirty lesbo.

Doesn't matter if he get's Anon Babble'd. It builds character.

something about the temple

It was some weird combination between Kiss Shot doing something or other, Nadeko killing the snake god, then becoming the snake god, which made the whole town way worse. But Shinobu being present at all I think was a big part of it. But RRRRRRG could potentially have just left it up to the experts and it would have solved itself. Him fucking around, and BELIEVING in all the nonsense made things exponentially worse than they could have been.

Basically if Ragi had minded his own business after meeting Kiss Shot, a couple people would have had some bad luck. Gahara might have been stuck weightless but otherwise things would have largely been pretty quiet. Ragi didn't start the whirlpool but he powered it up.

This makes it further feel like Araragi's position is to be disruptive. Him getting a job to hunt oddities for specialists doesn't make much sense. I also personally feel like the more odd Araragi is, the better off. He seems to become more open and ironically more human as he becomes more vampiric. Maybe Nisio could be building to this, but he honestly could go in any direction. A Monogatari book where Araragi unleashes some crazy oddity would be cool.

Wataten girl. Her show is cucked asf and never turns the corner so she's bound by her own rules to never go in on her desires

A man who explicitly said he isn't a pedophile and the dragon seem like safe picks. So I pick the fatass pink girl.

RRRG essentially being an unintentional force of chaos is a pretty large theme in owari I would say, a major part of ougi is her trying to actively disrupt things as a parallel to araragi trying to help and often bringing things further out of control at some point in the process

mya-nee would treat my daughters well even if she's being a weird pervert about it in the process

Boy? Rudeus
Girl? Miyako

RRRG if I get to be bros with him

oh wow
Based

so the chance of your kid getting involved with some fucked up shit is high, specially during a whole week.

Fuck, you make a good point.
Okay him it is.
Let me get some secondary excitement when the kid gets me wrapped up in something.

Sounds like me but without the vampire wife. And thus without anything else that comes downstream of it like friends.

that manga is cute as fuck I should read more of it soon

Seconding this , my kids are safe with him.

I honestly don't think he would try to pull anything while babysitting, the bigger threat would be him unintentionally roping your kids into supernatural nonsense

Girls are disgusted to a lesser degree.
Guys don't like the snot and piss of other guys, girls are the same way except they also have recurring bloody messes, and a vagina isn't threatening to another vagina. A dick can still invade your ass, but a vagina can't.
As well, tongues, fingers, etc. are gender neutral.
So, physically, guys "lose".

Guys tend to get along with other guys, at least in relating to them, whereas girls have a higher likelihood of not relating to other girls.
So mentally "girls" lose.

bottom left and a fuck the babysitter afterwards

But doesn't everybody generally agree that women are the prettier sex?

Cultural norms, so no it's not inherent.
In ye olde Greece men were the bonafide pretty ones (and useful ones) and women were mostly just there for children. I mean sure men would still fall in love with women and stuff, but as far as society was concerned I mean.

he doesn't know the damage anal sex causes

It's bad for women too.
Lesbian sex is just kissing licking and fingering (even if the rest of the lesbian relationship is slapping and punching).

Well that's teen Rudeus, he's stopped molesting preteens by then.

Like 85% of women are bisexual/bicurious

No son of mine is going to grow upbto be a homo.
Leaving him with Lucoa to secure his heterosexuality

Reject all choices and go with my cool pedophile wife

I also wonder if they get disgusted when seeing jiggly tits in media.

That’s mostly just fat ugly feminists.

Lucoa, because I want my son to get in a good word so I can bed her too.

The explanation about Ougi makes a lot of things make more sense. Is it ever confirmed whether the void is permeantly destroyed? It kind of just goes away, I assume because everyone got in line. I wonder if it could come back sometime as Araragi hasn't really changed. There could be a dramatic point to it returning to an Araragi who is doing what he thinks is "intended" while still actually doing things quite unnaturally. Maybe his confusion could also be used to mirror the confusion he felt in Kizumonogatari when the slayers started approaching him ready to kill.

Rudy is never home but I would trust his family to take care of my child for a week Not Aisha though

my daughter with Lucoa

Shuraragi is actually considerate and will not do anything that causes the kids trauma so him

Shinobu literally spread her butt exposing her hole and slit to him while nearly in his lap and he didn't move

when the fuck did this happen?

The bath scene